Well, here I am again. Two weeks ago I was writing about my motivation being at a new high and as quickly as it went up, it sank back down. I had an excellent week or two and basically stopped doing what made it an excellent week. I have a feeling that when I weigh in tomorrow, it isn’t going to be very excellent. I’m starting to think my motivational issues are being affected by my mood and my mood is being affected by my lack of daytime activities, among other things. The week before I had my best week, I spent 4 out of 7 days outside walking around at the fair. But the weeks following the fair, I have been swamped with work, so I haven’t really had the chance to get out much. Monday was my first real time outside in a few weeks with the exception of a few hours a week for soccer games and driving the kids around. Monday and Tuesday were better days. So, it would seem that the more time I spend outside getting fresh air and exercise, the more motivated I am to try and eat better and lose weight.

So, what is the answer? Find a new job that lets me work outside? Nah, I like working for myself too much. Being able to spend time with my son is important to me and working a job where I have to deal with someone else’s schedule just doesn’t seem like it will work with my life. Move to a warmer climate with more sunshine and shorter winters? Nah, while super cold days, ice storms and the cost of filling my oil tank once every month during winter can bite, I still like winter too much to move away form it. I love snow. When I was a kid, my friends and I would go outside and dig through all the mounds of snow that the plows pushed off the roads. We would have 4 or 5 foot high mounds with tunnels going through them. We would go sleigh riding down the biggest hills we could find, spending countless hours outside enjoying the snow. I want my kids to be able to continue enjoying those experiences that they are growing to love. So, then what? Time being at a premium with all the work that needs to get done. Winter is coming, so shorter and colder days are going to come with it. Where do I find the mood lifting daytime exercise that makes me a happier more motivated person? Well, I’m thinking about joining a gym. Although it isn’t outside exercise. It might be enough to keep me motivated. I’m just not sure I am a gym type of person. I am not a very social person. Just writing this blog is a huge step for me. But, joining a gym and having to work out with others is not something I am sure i could do. Guess we will see. The walks in the woods are going to start up again too. I swore up and down last winter that when spring got here, I would be going every day. Somehow that never happened. I need to force myself to do these things, so that I am feeling better, and have the motivation to eat better. But, that brings another thought to mind. Where do I get the motivation to make myself stop working for an hour a day and go out for a walk? Hmm… i guess it is all about motivation now isn’t it. Seems like one big circle… when the motivation starts, it is easier to keep it going, but when it stops, you have to climb the wall of the circle before it gets that push going down the other side to keep moving.

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