Today was my first visit with the nutritionist since October. The past week without a doubt has been better than the several weeks and months prior to it. I have been eating better and doing more. The weather has been a little warmer (a lot warmer yesterday. 60 degree days in January. woohoo!) and I have been taking advantage of it. Yesterday I got out and took the recycle we have been building up during the past two months to the drop off. My garage is definitely happier to have all that recycle out of it. Today after my appointment I took the dog out for a walk. It was only about 8 blocks. Not far, but still a good start. I’m hoping for more warm days and also hoping that we don’t slip back into the frigid temps. As long as it stays above freezing, I see myself getting out for daily walks. My appointment went pretty much as I expected. I am 5 pounds heavier than I was in October. Not great. But not horrible either. Last week that number would have been +10 pounds. So, I am moving in the right direction again.

What I got most out of my visit with the nutritionist today was that, while I have stagnated with my weight loss over the past few months. What I have achieved to this point is by far a medical success. My starting weight was 468 and I am now at 369 meaning I have lost more than 20% of my starting weight. On top of that, while my weight does fluctuate some. I have pretty much either lost of maintained for the entire year+ I have been going there. Sometimes It can be tough to view my journey as a success at this point while still weighing 150+ pounds more than I want to. Something the DR. has told me from the start is that there comes a time when you hit a plateau. Up until this visit with her my chart has always shown a decline. So this is my plateau, this is where I leveled off.. and now.. I’m ready for the next downhill event..

I have long felt that I needed a little push. I don’t have much of a support system. Mostly because I have always been self reliant more than anything else. I don’t look to other people to do what I can do for myself. Sometimes it makes things a bit harder.. but in the end.. I get to look back and say, I did it my way. So, I had to push myself and to do that, I had to remind myself exactly why it was I wanted to lose weight in the first place. Also, being the kind of person who likes to look at a situation from all sides, I felt like I had to push the boundaries of what I have achieved and the current state of my weight loss so that I could better understand exactly what I need to do. I feel better. So, I wanted to see just how far I could take that without going back to where I started. What it would take to make me not feel so good anymore. I came close to going over the edge a few times. But I pulled myself back each time. What I realized in the end was that I needed to let myself slip just a little bit over to remember exactly why I started on this journey. I remember now, and now I have what I need to push ahead and go to the next level. I’m not on a diet here. I’m not following atkins, nutri system, jenny craig, weight watchers or any of the myriad diet plans out there that people choose to follow. I am following the ME plan. I am finding out what works best for me with the foods I love and will let me continue to enjoy those foods as I move to a healthier existence. And you know what? I’m loving it! I might bitch and complain about this or that.. but hell, that is part of the reason I set this site up. So, I could have an outlet to track my achievements and pitfalls and to complain.

While talking with a friend recently, he told me that when he reads my posts they make him sad. I was a bit surprised by that. And he told me that even though he knows me and my odd sense of humor, it is sometimes hard to keep that in mind while he reads and that it just comes across as somber. It made me wonder if that is what others are perceiving from my posts as well, which leads to the title of this post. It’s all in your perspective. While at times I can be dark. I just don’t perceive what I write as being very somber. So, if you my reader, all three of you, are reading this as a somber message. Lighten Up!

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